Can't Wait to Enjoy Clothes Shopping Again

When I stopped by the mall today, I was reminded of one of the many activities that totally suck when you're fat: clothes shopping.

Practically speaking, most stores (at least the ones with the cute, fashionable clothes) just don't carry your size. You have to pass by all those trendy little places with mannequins that look as big around as your leg or sales that sound irresistibly good. If you're lucky, there's a Lane Bryant or Fashion Bug in the vicinity.

And God help you if you're shopping with skinny friends. My (skinny) mom said her (not skinny) friend just sat down and waited when they went into a J. Jill store the other day. Why? Not a single thing in J. Jill would fit her. Why bother looking around? I hear ya, sister. But sometimes you go just for the socializing and pretend like you're really, really interested in the accessories or shoes, because you can't wear the clothes. It's a bummer.

Even when you do find a store that has plus-sized clothes (a term I loathe), you still have to face what you see in the dressing room mirror. Unless you're a very unique and happy-with-where-you-are fat person, which I have never been, you dread trying on clothes even more than shopping at skinny stores with skinny friends. There's not a single full-length mirror in our house, so I never have to encounter the reality of my body's appearance--until I'm in a store dressing room. My reaction is usually, as good ol' Cathy often exclaims, "ACK!" And swimsuits? Let's not go there.

Though I've lost nearly 30 pounds so far this year, I haven't bought any new clothes for myself yet. Haven't needed to, really. I have plenty of sizes left from the past two or three years. I figure when I drop 50, I'll reward myself with some new outfits. And of course, at my goal weight, I'll need an entirely new wardrobe, since I haven't been that thin in more than 10 years.

But strolling through the mall today, I noticed a small twinge of hope inside that someday, I will be able to pop into just about any store I please. If a dress looks cute in the window, I might just pick it up and try it on. Instead of "ACK!"ing my way through the dressing room, I'll actually enjoy what I see in the mirror--even if I'm not crazy about the dress.

I am sooo looking forward to the day when I dump off all my old fat clothes at Salvation Army and head to the mall for a skinny-clothes shopping spree. I'll be like Eddie Murphy as Buddy Love in The Nutty Professor when he runs around campus screaming "I'm THIN! I'm THIN!" in spandex bicycle shorts. No kidding. I really will.